The Day the Earth Vanished
I have been riding motorcycles on and off since I was seventeen. In that time, I have had one accident while moving, which involved narrow tyres and a set of tram lines on Blackpool Promenade (I will leave the rest to your imagination).
I have however, had several whilst stationary. Nearly all involved not having the side-stand down fully, or even at all. I am sure you can see the picture in your minds right now.
One outstanding event didn't involve the side-stand, but a lack of terra firma.
Before I took up employment in Bahrain, I was working at the Coastguard Search and Rescue Helicopter Unit, at Lee-on-Solent, in Hampshire. My home was some 420 miles away in Scotland. Now clearly that is a bit of a daily commute, so for my two week duty period I lived in caravan, on a site near to the base.
My usual pattern was to ride to the caravan the day before my shifts started, but this particular time I had stayed overnight with my father, who lives roughly half way between home and the base. I left early in the morning to arrive at the caravan site at 11 am, giving me enough time to get ready for my shift at 1 pm.
Entry to the site was via a single track lane, not ideal if someone was trying to bring out a caravan while someone was trying to get in. And this is what happened. As I turned into the lane I was met with a couple leaving the site, caravan in tow. No problem, I can just drop back a little and stop at the side of the lane next to the main road, giving them room to pass. Having rolled back sufficiently, I stopped, and as usual put down my left foot. This is where it all started to go wrong.
My foot didn't make contact with the ground. After flailing around for what seemed to be minutes, it was obvious the ground wasn't there. What I had taken to be a grassy bank was in fact a grass covered ditch. Unfortunately, the bike was now leaning beyond the point of no return and I slowly toppled over. To this day I remember the wide eyed stares of the couple in the car facing me. I was now seated on a motorcycle lying completely on its side. What's worse was my foot still couldn't make contact with anything solid. With nothing stand to on, getting off the bike was a gargantuan task. By the time I managed to wriggle my way off the stricken machine I was in tears - laughing. The couple, who had now come to my aid, saw my laughter and burst out laughing too. They had been bottling up in case I was angry.
We now had the task of trying to recover a fully laden motorcycle, which was acting as a bridge over the ditch. A passing lady motorcyclist, seeing my plight, stopped to help. She flagged down a couple of workmen in a truck and the problem was solved.
There was no damage to the bike; the same could not be said for my dignity.
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