Sagging Barbie
I was browsing a news website yesterday, the one run by the Broken Biscuit Company, when I came across this headline in the business section,
‘Sagging Barbie Sales cost Mattel’.
My immediate thought was how unfair. After all, Barbie turned 56 last month, it’s hardly her fault she’s sagging is it? On the other hand I was applauding Mattel for the bold decision not to give her plastic surgery. They were not bowing down to the ‘perfect woman’ brigade and showing her as she really is. But then again they can hardly be surprised that she doesn’t sell as well as the younger version.
Then it dawned on me, the sales were flagging, not Barbie. I had fallen victim to poor headline writing, or maybe very clever writing. It’s hard to tell whether that was a deliberate attention getter or not.
So I did the natural thing to do when sat in a coffee shop. I did a search on one of the well known search engines - who am I kidding? There is only one well known search engine, so well known it has become a verb meaning ‘to look up online’ - and found some other ‘well intentioned but we got it really wrong headlines’.
Some of these had my wife and I laughing so much I thought we were going to get thrown out. Bear in mind these are genuine headlines from both regional and national newspapers around the globe.
(1) Dr Ruth to Talk about Sex with Newspaper Editors
I was going to say ‘lucky editors’, then I remembered Dr Ruth
(2) If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Thank you for some incredible insight.
(3) Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Politicians, what more can I say?
(4) Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
Good to see the FBI are on top of things
(5) Miracle Cure Kills Fifth Patient
The operations was a complete success, but the patient died
(6) Planes forced to land at airports
err…Am I missing something here?
(7) Homeless man under house arrest
Bit of a brutal social policy, but if it works…
(8) One-armed man applauds kindness of strangers
Not even going to go there with this one
(9) 17 Remain dead in morgue shooting spree
No sh*t Sherlock
(10) Homicide victims rarely talk to Police
Is that because they have been shot deader in the morgue?
(11) Hospitals resort to hiring doctors
I think I can now see where number 5 came from
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